Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween

I am a firm believer that you are never too young for Halloween. For this reason, here is Kate celebrating her first. We didn't trick or treat, but we did answer the door together and give everyone candy :)

Best $8 spent at Wal Mart EVER!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Guess Who Came A Knockin'

OK. So I am not one to post more than one blog on the same day, but I feel this is an exception.

Last week I was sitting here while Kate took a nap and there was a tap, tap tappin on the front door. I answered, wondering who could be here in the middle of the day, only to discover that it was two delightfully polite women representing the Jehovah's Witnesses. OK. I have nothing against what they do, or what they believe, but I do not want to sit and discuss it with them for hours in my family room. But, they were, as aforementioned, very polite and they asked if they could leave me some literature and come back some other time to discuss it.

Well, I forgot that in my haste to get them to leave my front stoop, I nodded yes in polite agreement. So today, when I was getting ready to drift off into a peaceful slumber on my couch, I heard a light knocking on the door. Just like last week, I answered, wondering who could be here in the middle of the day, and much to my dismay, it was those two wonderfully polite women inquiring as to whether I had read their literature and if now was a good time to chat. It was not a good time.

So now I have an "appointment" for them to come back on Thursday. I do not want to meet with them, but they were so nice I just couldn't say no. So now, on Thursday, when they come rapping on my door, I will sit hunched on the couch, pretending I am not home, feeling guilty for being so rude as to tell them they could come back and then ignoring them. Is that bad?

With moments like this, who needs haunted houses?

So, if you know me at all, you know that I am a tiny bit frightened by spiders. And if you really know me, you know that means that I am really absolutely terrified, but for some reason feel the need to downplay the sheer terror that runs trough my body at the sight of, or sometimes even the thought that a spider could be anywhere within a 10 mile radius. Eeek. Blech. Just thinking it gives me the willies.

So, I love Halloween as much as the next guy. And I have frequented my fair share of haunted houses. But Friday, night, I get the scare of my life, and will never need someone to fake me out in some lame $20 haunted house because nothing could scare me like this did. In fact, I just stopped shaking, which is why it took me until Monday to write about it.

Friday happened like normal. And at 10:30 p.m. Chris decided it was time to go to bed. He put the dogs out for the last time and I changed Kate's diaper and we waited for the dogs to be finished. Chris went back to let them in and only two appeared. He closed the door again and went to brush his teeth. I, being impatient, {have I mentioned that before :)} picked Kate up from the portable crib, and decided to go out back and call for Bailey, our third dog, to hurry up and get her butt inside so that I could go to bed.

So, I open the door, and there it is. The largest spider I have ever seen in my life runs across my foot and into the house, where it makes an immediate left and runs away. Ew. Blech. Gross. Cue in screaming, crying and hyperventilating. No lie.

Chris came running, thinking that I have dropped Kate and is trying to figure out what the hell has just happened. I am now outside, in the rain, clutching our daughter and hopping from one foot to the other, hyperventilating, eyes as wide as possible, trying to explain what is wrong.

I believe it went like this, "It was huge! It's in the house! It was on me! It's huge! It's in the house!" Rinse and repeat many times, because that was all I could get out.

Needless to say, Chris was not amused by my hysterics and he took Kate from me and went in the house and closed the door. That's right, he left me outside, in the dark, in the rain, mad at me because he was so scared that Kate had gotten hurt.

So I am standing alone on the wet back porch, barefoot and jumping from one foot to the other sobbing and trying to breathe. Finally, he opens the door and tells me I need to calm down and come in the house. I am staring at the door like it is a ring of fire that I have to force myself to jump through. After a minute, or two, and only after he said he was going to close the door if I didn't come in, I ran into the house.

At this point, he gave me Kate and told me to go to our room and calm down. He commences his search for the spider that I am certain is in the house, waiting for us to go to sleep so it can come in and attack us.

After about 15 minutes, Chris came into the room only to find me still holding our daughter, still crying and having a hard time breathing and rocking back and forth like an autistic child. I told him what I saw, and he swears he cannot find anything. This is unacceptable to me, and causes me to sob harder so off he goes for a second time.

Another 15 minutes later he returns to tell me that he has has killed what he agreed was a rather large spider on the back porch (yes, the one on which I was standing alone just 30 minutes ago) and 10 of her children!!!!! Ew!!! Blech!!!

You would think this story would be over at this point. But no. Because I am insistent that I saw that spider come into the house. Chris did his best to calm me down and remind me that in my state of panic, I didn't exactly watch to see where it went and it may have turned around and run back out without my seeing it. He then asked me if I wanted to come outside and see the one he killed and confirm that it was, in fact, the spider I had seen.

Rationally, this would have been a smart thing to do. But instead, he was met with a "No way, Jose. Do you think I am crazy?" (In hindsight, thinking about the way I reacted to this incident, I am lucky he didn't look at that point and say, "Yes. I do think you are crazy based on your behavior the last 30 minutes.") But instead, he just said, "I really think it would make you feel better. But that's fine. Stay here and I will go get rid of the bodies."

He was gone another 10 minutes and when he came back he said he had looked around again, and there were no more large spiders. I said, "Are you sure there weren't two big spiders? I swear one came into the house." But, he hadn't found anything and had to go to work in the morning so off to bed we went. And by that I mean, he climbed in and immediately fell asleep while I stayed awake, still shaking and rocking and tears streaming down my cheeks because every time I close my eyes I still fell that gross thing going across my foot and see it in my mind.

I finally fell asleep. Probably out of pure exhaustion. Again, you think this story is over. But you are sadly mistaken. I had to get up at 1 to feed Kate and change her diaper. I turn on every light I can find, peer out into the family room, survey the scene, decide it is safe, quickly hurry over to the portable crib to change her diaper, dash back into the room, and tuck her safely back into bed and breathe a sigh of relief.

3:30 a.m. Kate is hungry. I get up, pick her up out of the crib. Turn on every light I can reach and survey the scene, when I see it. On the floor, under the window, right by the bedroom door, the spider that I swore had come in, that Chris could not find to save his life. That little bastard had made his way from the back door, around the house, past the cat and all three dogs and was in fact in our bedroom, laying in wait to attack us. I immediately started yelling, "Chris, it's in here. It's in our room. It's under the window. I knew it was coming to get us!"

At this point Chris wakes up, tries to figure out what is going on, follows my directions to finding the spiders location, and wails on it with a shoe. He then took a maxi pad and picked up the remains. I guess toilet paper wouldn't have been absorbent enough?!? I mean, it was huge. And now, if you think the story is over, you are correct.

Needless to say, in the season of creepy crawlies, try to scare your pants off, I do not need fake fear, because I experienced the real thing this past Friday.

And for the record, I know that I sound like a crazy person and I apologized to Chris for being crazy the following morning. He just told me I am not crazy, just irrational. And I reminded him that is why they are called irrational fears. I also reminded him that it will be a long time before I open the back door at night again.

Eek! Ew! Blech!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I have a confession.

I have been holding this in for a while. I have to admit. OK. Here it goes.

I love Ellen. That's right. You hear me. She cracks me up.

I just feel compelled to watch her show every day. She says the most random things and she always makes me laugh. I almost wish I could just carry a tiny Ellen in my pocket so that every time I needed a laugh I could just pull her out, set her in the palm of my hand and wait for the magic to happen.

In fact, if you don't watch it, it is on NBC at 4 every day and I highly suggest that you record it and see for yourself.

And if you can't record it, just go the webpage:

So, here's to hoping she makes you laugh like she does for me :)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Trade Up Is Worth It

Tonight I decided that I was going to take a bath. This doesn't seem like something that is worth mentioning, except that it is not such a simple task these days. No, I don't mean that it is hard to bathe. I shower daily, actually. It's just that Kate has decided that she needs to throw a fit every time I find something I want to do.

So, I run the tub. Fill it with bubbles. Climb in and release a sigh of relief. And then.........waaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! Screaming and crying like if you didn't know any better you would think we were beating her. In fact, tonight she cried so hard that she had her first actual tears.

So I climb out of the tub. Dried off. And then did everything I could to stop her crying. Turns out she was hungry. Again.

But as stated in the title. She is worth it. But today, for one moment, I missed the ability to take an uninterrupted bath.

Ahhh....... sigh.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

My Angel

Every day I look at my daughter and I think several things.

1) OMG! That was in me?!?!?!

2) We made her?!?!

3) How is it possible that i already know I could never love anything more than I love this little girl?


4) Why do I get to be so lucky?

I am in love. In a way I never thought imaginable. She is the most precious, beautiful angel. I thank God every day that he blessed us with her.