Monday, June 21, 2010

Size 8........a plus size?

So I saw this really unflattering picture of myself from a party I went to on Saturday. It was terrible. In fact, I wanted to cry, because while I thought I was actually looking alright, this picture made me look huge. Anyway, I decided to google search women who are a size 8, my current size, and see if it is just me being way too critical of myself. That was when I came across this:

It did put things in perspective. Why is it so hard to stop obsessing about weight and start being thankful for what we have?

I have an amazing husband who loves me no matter what. He loved me when I was 135. He loved me when I was 187. And he loved me when I was pregnant and gave birth at 207. And he loves me now at 160.

I have a beautiful daughter. She doesn't know what size I am. She doesn't know how much I weigh. All she knows is my voice and my face, and to her, I am just mom.

So today I am turning over new leaf. I will work to be healthy, but not skinny. I will try to complain less about being unhappy with my weight. Starting today I will start finding something to complement myself on each day. Because, lets be honest, if the world thinks size 8 is a plus size, then its no wonder women have such poor self image.

I say it is time we take a stand, and start feeling better about ourselves. I don't want my daughter growing up believing that the only way to feel good about herself is to be a size 4.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Everything is for a reason

But sometimes it is hard to find what that reason is. And while I try to live by the belief that what happens happens because that is the way God intends it, it's still hard.

Wednesday the sale of our house closes. We will have until the 16th to move out. With that said, our offer on the short sale house still has not been approved. And their bank keeps saying, we will have an answer soon. Guess what. No answer. So it stresses me out. I am trying to believe that we are going to be living with Robert for a reason. We are moving all of our stuff for a reason. We are going to be temporarily homeless for a reason. But I find myself felling overwhelmed, and stressed and sad. There is so much to do. And it wouldn't seem so daunting if I knew where we were going to end up.

Every time I feel like I am going to break, I remind myself that there is a purpose for this transition period. God has a reason why we don't have an answer on this house. But I hate feeling so unsure, and scared. What if we don't keep out the right things? What if we overstay our welcome? What if Kate is miserable in the interim? What if we don't have the approval on this house because it isn't the house we are supposed to get?

What were easy to say okay God, I hear you and I trust you?

Does that make me a control freak? I wish it wasn't so hard to just let it all go. I know in my heart that there is a plan, and it is one that I am not meant to see or understand right now. That doesn't make it any easier.

Y'all pray for us.